This is where I was going to embed a youtube video clip of "Money" from Cabaret, but all the clips had embedding disabled! You can watch it here though.
Money and I have a historically fraught relationship. As a rule, this is because I don't have any, ever, and I want to spend it.The term "Money Burns a Hole in the Pocket" seems to have been coined especially for me; I spend anything that comes my way in the blink of an eye and ever since I've worked I've lived pay day to pay day. I am also notoriously debt prone - as in, I'm constantly getting myself into debt. I justify my unnecessary buys with the thought that I can easily pay up and get myself out of debt again, however I usually flake out and ignore what's going on until the bank letters have red writing on them. The moment I start spending on a credit card I become like a money obsessed harridan, thus:
It's amazing how I've just trundled along like this for so long, taking for granted the fact that I don't have any money. Lately, the debt situation has become worse and also horribly tedious. My debts are greater, have become more pressing AND super depressing. The IRD have been on my back - I owe them lots after my misadventure in self employment taxation, and I can feel my credit card bills eyeing me reproachfully before I even open them. Also, my boyfriend wants to go on holiday with me AND I CAN NEVER AFFORD TO GO ON HOLIDAY. There is nothing like watching someone you love flying away to exotic locales to make one feel like a loser-debt-infected-lady-cad.
It is time to end this rubbish. It is time to feel in control of my bank balance again. And because I am a blogger and thus, convinced that you all find my life as fascinating as I do, I want you to share my journey. COME ALONG FOR THE DEBT CANCELLING, MONEY SAVING RIDE! THERE WILL BE UNICORNS!
I know that the first step is budgeting. I had to be honest with myself, and although this was incredibly hard, I also knew from many years of experience that debts rarely disappear if you ignore them. Thus I bit the bullet, worked it all out, and I took a long hard look at that figure. This was rather painful, and I wanted to look away because my eyeballs were burning (shame, humiliation, horror). But, I know that the first step in getting rid of that debt is to OWN IT.
Having suitably horrified myself with my money situation, I had a little cry and then sat down and nutted out a budget. This was based on what I was committed to paying for (bills, rent, food and *ahem* coffee), how much I wanted to pay off my debts at each week, and how much I wanted to put aside for emergencies (unexpected doctor's bills and such like). While I was working this out, I took a long hard look at my financial commitments, and purged those that were not entirely necessary. There were a couple of subscriptions that I was paying for that were not vitally important by any stretch of the imagination and I gave them the flick - I cancelled my Audible subscription despite my amazing deep love of audiobooks, and the ongoing costs of hall rental etc became a deciding factor in my decision to leave derby. This was the first thing that I had done in a long time that made me feel truly empowered in my money situation - I had decluttered and made some mature and responsible decisions.
It's been a fortnight since I've been doing this seriously, and so far so good. I know that the absolute hardest thing for me to do will be to keep motivated and retain that feeling of financial empowerment - and I've decided that one of the best things that I can do is to keep blogging about my adventure.* I want to share what I've found helps me keep inspired with the arduous task of living within my means, and I would dearly dearly love suggestions from other people.
What have you got? Suggestions to help me out?
*Yes I am trying to make myself feel more enthusiastic.
