My Snake Scaring Song is "Like A Virgin"

So I think I must be on day thirteen or something of this holiday, the weather is fair to middling and at the moment I am sitting at Freya's Parent's vineyard watching one of the free range pigs rubbing its arse against the irrigation system. Her place is beautiful! Vineyards as far as the eye can see and a compressed earth house... I've had a fantastic eventful/uneventful holiday thus far. We've seen prerequisite amazing cliffs (Bunda) and desert that stretches hotly into the distance (Nullarbor); amazing white sand, turquoise watered beaches around the South and South West; and forests of towering majestic karri and tingle trees. I have also read a lot of tourist brochures. We stayed over Christmas at a place called Two People's Day, where we had a rip roaring argument on Christmas Eve (camping tantrums). Still het up, I lay in the tent listening to Andy stamp around while he performed his ablutions. And suddenly - he says "What the hell is that?! Its coming closer. Is it a rat? Its a huge rat! NO... its some kind of wallaby, I think. Or a rat?" I'm lying in the tent and freaking out because I can see vividly in my mind the image of a huge sewer rat with long, yellow teeth. "Its a rat, its a huge rat! Oh god!" I'm sobbing in the tent because its so profoundly awful, the whole concept of a rat eating my face in the middle of the night with its long awful, horrible yellow teeth. Meanwhile, Andy throws rocks at the animal that keeps coming closer and closer and finally revs the engine of the car, which scares it away... Much later we discover that the mysterious rat/wallaby hybrid is in fact a kind of bandicoot called a Quenda, which is a protected species... And Andy threw a brick at it.