Angst-ridden Rant - A.M.

See how I am anticipating an afternoon angst-ridden rant also?

So, yesterday I was quite harsh, I think, and today I feel guilty, although I was quite pleased with my resolve at the time. So very guilty. I'm so tempted to send off explanatory expiatory messages... Have to keep reminding myself: can't make things better; can't fix things; made best decision for me, despite harshness. Remembering the WHY of the whole situation - how I came to this point.

I feel quite nauseous.

I was feeling fine walking to work... listening to music of course the ultimate downfall in this situation. While listening to "Cherrybomb" I noticed I had toast stuck to my lipgloss (tres chic). Listening to TV on the Radio in the lift almost sent me into torrents of tears. I'm desperately checking my Myspace page and even my Blogpatrol stats to see if he's been around and he HASN'T. Because I told him not to contact me and he was listening and he hasn't and now I feel horrid and guilty and very very sad.

I need to get out of the office for a bit. Take a walk, maybe buy some new jeans, despite the heat outside.