Once upon a time

Back in March, the irrepressible Alexandra Franzen wrote a blog post about writing an "about" page. Suggestion four is: "The Once Upon A Time" bio.

In a fit of enthusiasm, I decided to do write myself one of these. I like it, and it's been a kind of awesome writing and remembering exercise. I'm not so sure about using it as an actual blog bio, but I'm feeling pretty good about it so I'm shaaaaaarinnggg with you all. How lucky you are!
 

Eleven

At age 11 I was at Primary School and a DEEP reader, mostly anything fantastical or that involved going through a portal and ending up in a different time or place. 

 

I had a crush on a boy in my class that I described as “tall, dark and handsome with red hair and freckles”. 

 

I loathed PE because I hated running about and nobody ever wanted me in their team because I slacked off so much and had terrible hand-eye coordination. 

 

My biggest concerns were around negotiating relationships with the girls that I was at school with - there were only a few of us and I was kind of desperate to fit in after my equally geeky best friend moved away. 

 

More than anything I wanted to write for a living, write books - however I had absolutely no idea what I would write about. I toyed with a short story about a girl who had a pet elephant at the bottom of her garden but was embarrassed when my mum read it.

 

Sixteen 

At age 16 I was at high-school and mostly concerned with being GOOD at things, history especially. However, when I say I wanted to be good at things I mean: I wanted good marks but I hated the amount of study that would go with it. Hence, I felt quite a lot of impotent rage as I received marks I thought were a travesty of what I deserved. 

 

I had finally developed a stable friend-base at high-school and friend relationships that were healthy - or at least better than those I’d had in my earlier high-school career, one of which was with a girl that I’m pretty sure had some kind of personality disorder. 

 

I worked part-time at Wendy’s Supa Sundaes in North City Plaza where I made ice creams for the good people of Porirua all Saturday and Sunday. Sticky syrups would crystallise in my arm hairs and I always wore brown Roman sandals with my blue polyester shorts and patterned polo shirts. The sandals showed of my glitter-painted toenails.

 

I got drunk for the first time on RTDs and beer and blathered to a nice boy called Ben. I wanted to finish high school and go to university and learn things that I wanted to learn and not all this crappy maths and science. University was where the smart people went, and I was a smart person, dammit.

 

Twenty-four

At age 24 I had finished university and lived in Melbourne. I was engaged and living with my SO but I was miserably unhappy with everything in my life.

 

After a spectacular breakdown and break up, I bailed on him and Melbourne and moved back to New Zealand where I slept on my mum’s couch for six weeks. I started working full time at a coffee bar; I got paid sweet fuck all and worked my arse off from 5:30 five, sometimes six days a week. 

 

I wanted a grown-up job where I could use my brain and write and where people would think that I was smart and respect me, and I wanted like hell to earn some money so I could pay for things. 

 

Most of the time I wanted to be pretty much anyone but who I was at that moment. A lot of wine was drunk.

 

Today

Right now: I am 30. I am working my arse off at a grown-up job which I don’t hate after six months, and I’m living with my SO who I am nauseatingly head over heels with. 

 

I’ve moved to the suburbs which I’m sometimes suddenly unreconciled to, given that I spent so many years desperate to leave Whitby (suburban hell). 

 

My Father is driving me crazy, but I’m doing my best to deal with it: I’ve spent forever and a crap load of money trying to make myself a happier person and most of the time I feel that I am.

 

If there’s anything that I want to do these days, it’s write something substantial about something that I give a fuck about. Food, probably.  In the short term, my main priority is to  pay off my debts once and for all, and to work like hell to stay out of it.