Tea and Henry Miller and Split Shifts and Anxiety and Me

UGH, I can feel anxiety sitting in my belly, I'm drinking chamomile tea in my pyjamas in an effort to diffuse my unnecessary stress... I've had one of those weeks where I keep volunteering to do things that I don't really want to do, probably to make myself feel smug, and then I just end up feeling stupid. Kind of over my job, increased angst in my flatting situation, yesterday I had convinced myself I just needed an early night and everything would be ok, and today I feel just as bad. Need to de-stress somehow. God I need a holiday... ALSO, the weather is filthy, humid and raining and windy outside but steamy in. I've finished reading Tropic of Cancer for the second or third time, ties in perfectly with my love/hate relationship with modernism... probably some kind of jealousy of absolutism I expect. I'm on a re-read at the moment, Eco is next. I've convinced myself that this time, I will read In the Name of the Rose for the confusing bits. I will interpret! I will learn more about Catholic history! I will get the references to symbols and signs and semiotics I didn't really get the first time around! Writing this, conversing with my flatmate's girlfriend, absorbing the chamomile-y goodness of the tea, I can kind of feel the worst of the anxiety subsiding. I might have a ten minute nap on the couch before I have to catch the bus to the airport for work... Incidentally, apart from something like two beers I am completely sober in the photo below. Just to clarify the situation. There has been some aspersions made to the contrary...