Another day, another anxious

buster keaton on a bicycle has nothing to do with this post

I’m procrastinating again (again), but I’m afraid that it can’t be helped. It’s just one of Those Days. I spoke about my Feelings this morning to the person who the Feelings were in regards to, and that always throws me out. I know it’s good to say the things you Feel but my words become horribly awkward and I kind of feel as though I’m squeezing them out through a hole that is far too small for them to fit through; like a tiny blocked valve. And then, immediately after I have expressed my Feelings, I feel as though I’ve fucked up absolutely everything and I want to grab them all and stuff them back into my mouth as quickly as possible (which suddenly seems like a horrendously wide, gaping mouth of stupidity and quelle horreur). The tearfulness and the herbal sedatives and then working in front of this computer have combined to give me a combination head/eye ache that is absolutely the grossest. Its increasingly apparent that I need new glasses which is kind of an exciting adventure, but mostly an economic pain in the arse. Nat is looking after me tonight with wine and common sense. She’s lovely and I’ve known her for almost fifteen years! That is a long time to know someone – more than half my life. It’s very nice to know someone for a long time I think.